An Open Letter to Thailand

Dear Thailand (or a least the square mile of Thailand that I know), I have a couple questions for you:

*Why aren’t coffee shops open at times when people might actually want to drink coffee, like ‘on the way to work’ or ‘after dinner’?
*Why, in a country whose climate causes so much sweating, does deodorant only come in the miniature size? Anny Kim don’t you dare answer that Asian people don’t sweat- I see evidence to the contrary.
*Why is counting to ten so difficult?
*Why do vendors let you try on clothing and then hand you a 3x3 inch mirror to look at yourself with?
*Why did my boss ask me twice “Is it alright for you to talk to the doctor from Tanzania? She is black you know.”
*How does one respond to aforementioned question?
*How come no matter what I order, every meal costs fifty cents?
*Why does your bubble tea have worm shapes instead of bubble shapes?
Drinking bubbles= delightful
Slimey worms slithering down your throat= gross.
*What is ozonated water and will I die if I drink it (okay, that’s more of a question for Dad)?
*Why can’t you give me an 8 second warning before a downpour, you know, a crack of lightening or a tiny squirt first? Just enough so I could get my umbrella open before being hopelessly soaked.
*Why are your television networks so damned good? More elaboration to come…
*Will you hate me if I shop at 7-11 instead of mom and pop shops? I know I am missing out on forming sweet little relationships and patronizing wholesome establishments but 7-11 with it’s air conditioning and cash register that shows the price so I don’t spend 20 minutes deciphering what my bill amounts to is just too powerful for me to overcome. Am I a bad person?
*Why can’t I figure out how to see websites in English? Do you know how hard it is to write a blog when all the options are written in Thai? I’m trying to blindly navigate the site based solely on memory from last years Morocco blog. Is there an easier way?
*Why are there 6 letters called ‘tor’ in Thai and 4 called ‘kor’? Do people ever learn this language?
*What ever happened to making letters that were easy to write, like a circle, or two intersecting lines?
* Are you serious about the double yellow lines? Because nobody takes them seriously…

Please answer at your earliest convenience.

Love,
Laura