Why American Airports suck
a) Cab fares to get there are absurd
b) You can only exchange money after 3pm (bc morning flights only go to places where the dollar is the national currency!)
c) I was charged 50 cents to buy a bag to put my toothpaste in. This is unfortunate bc thin flimsy plastic with an oh so clever closing system was the antidote to my toothpaste bomb.
d) Television news is playing which I often forget actually makes you stupider (show me again the missing ear of the woman from the cat fight!)
One positive: The airport reminded me that pay phones are nasty and the magical yet often unappreciated thing about cell phones is that you are guaranteed to only touch your own ear sweat.
Why Thai Airports/planes Rock:
a) I got to choose which movies and when to watch them in coach which had as much leg room as first class on delta.
b) My carry-on was actually thoroughly searched which sucked the frustration out of watching a cursory search that wastes your time by people who couldn’t find a snake if it bit them (ya like that Mom?)
c) I got to fall asleep to the Thai meditation channel convinced that I would actually learn Thai in my sleep.
d) “Stan the exercise man” warns you to stay hydrated and move around every two hours to avoid blood clot death. I may have taken this a little too seriously.
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